In high school I never went out, never went to sleepovers, never went over friends' houses, and I was fine with that! But I do admit that it made it hard to hold meaningful, long term friendships with people. Now that I attend college in another city, friends have kind of taken the place of family in the way you live with them, have fun with them, and confide in them. It's super important to be close to good people who will support you because college, with all of it's fun times, is full of rough spots (finances and grades being the roughest).
Random picture from Halloween haha
I have met a few people in college that I know I can trust, and that I would support no matter what, but other than those few I have met soooo many poisonous people. These are people who are supposed to make you happy but instead, always make you feel terrible. I'm the type who will drop all my "friends" if it meant keeping my pride, so if I see any sign of snake-like tendencies I pretty much cut the person off cold turkey...but I know some people find that hard to do. So, I'm going to try my best to tell you guys how to spot a bad friend, and more importantly, how to get rid of them!:
How to spot a bad "friend":
- Your friend only seems to want you around when it's convenient for them
- An example of this is a friend who never calls you unless they want to go shopping or out to eat...and they don't have a car but you do (meaning they want a ride). However, when you just want to hang out at home they never seem to answer the phone.
- Your friend loves putting you down/Jealousy
- This is a friend who will tell you that your hair looks "off", your outfit is missing something, and just constantly take jabs at your appearance under the pretense of being honest or "just joking".
- It's one thing to be honest with a friend who asks, but it's another thing to be vicious for no reason, and it's worst to bring someone down out of jealousy.
- Your friend is never there for you, but expects you to be there for them
- An example of this is a friend who never wants to listen to you when you're feeling down..or even when you have good news to share, but when they have the slightest problem they expect you to be their own personal Dr.Phil.
- Your friend takes your kindness for weakness
- This is someone who you lend money to, and they take forever and a day to pay it back...or sometimes...never
- A person who will eat like a king at your house/apartment, but never offers you anything when you're over their's
- A person who will use you for rides and never offer to pay gas money, and never gives you rides in return if they can
How to get rid of bad "friends":
- Try talking it out
- I do admit I get rid of people without talking it out first, but that's not the best solution. Sometimes your friend doesn't know what they're doing is hurting you. A good friend will take what you say into consideration and treat you better after a nice talk.
- Keep conversations dry and to a minimum
- For the friends who don't change after a talk, start to dump them (slowly). Use the infamous "k." text on them, stop confiding in them, and don't initiate conversation.
- When they call to hang out, tell them you're busy
- They want to go to the mall on Saturday? Tell them you have to catch up on some reading, or that you already made plans with someone else...or, that you just don't feel like going. They will eventually get the hint.
- Don't back down
- I know it's tempting to start hanging out with a bad friend who tells you "you never hang out with me anymore", "hey stranger", etc..but just keep saying you're really busy. Trust me, it's better to hurt their feelings a little, than to continue on in an unhealthy relationship.
I realize this is somewhat of a random post, but it was a subject I had to speak on!